Coffee Koan

Though I got rid of my car years ago, occassionally I experience an uncontrollable urge to buy crappy coffee from gas stations. As I sip the nondescript liquid, I have visions of driving across the prairie with a full tank of gas, singing along to Buffy Sainte-Marie's "I'm Gonna Be A Country Girl Again."

The rain is falling lightly on the buildings and the cars
I've said goodbye to city friends, department stores and bars
The lights of town are at my back, my heart is full of stars
And I'm going to be a country girl again.

Does this vision mean that I (A) need a car in my life again, (B) need a vacation, (C) need to switch back to tea, or (D) have really awesome taste in music?

Leonard Cohen All The Way From China

As I speak, the Author of the title of this blog is down the street, on stage, letting it all hang out... and I'm not there to grovel.

Leonard Cohen is in town. I belong to the Leonard Cohen cult.

Some people prefer the Tom Waits cult. Or the Johnny Cash cult. Or the Kurt Cobain cult. Or the Lou Reed cult. Or the Tupac cult. Someday there will be a Randy Travis cult. (o you laugh now... but he who laughs first laughs laughs)

I first learned of Leonard when I belonged to the Jesus cult. I also had recently joined the Nina Simone cult. I'm still a card-carrying member of the Nina Simone cult. The Jesus cult is doing just fine without me.

So my Jesus posse at the time cultishly listened to Jeff Buckley, and being that Jesus people always like to find semi-secular songs that have a semi-christian message to them, we added Cohen's "Hallelujah" to our basement jamming repertoire. Go figure.

At the same time Nina's version of "Suzanne" entered my consciousness. And the rest is herstory.

After I left the Jesus cult, I couldn't get enough of Leonard Cohen as a writer. The friend with whom I briefly started a band (whatever came of 'the zen molesters'?) lent me his copy of "Beautiful Losers" and I never gave it back. He never gave me a copy of the songs we recorded.

Touche.

I read "Strange Music" in place of my Bible. I burned "Suzanne" onto every mix I made for ever lover, friend, sibling who would take a mix from me.

And you know that she's half crazy/but that's why you want to be there.

I posted lyrics to "Hallelujah" above my toilet.

She's touched your perfect body with her mind.

I sometimes forget it's there, but guys who have to stand and take a piss see it. Leonard Cohen would be proud to know that someone occassionally reads his lyrics while taking a piss...

There was a time you let me know

what's really going on below

but now you never show it to me, do you?

I remember when I moved in you,

and the holy dove was moving too,

and every breath we drew was Hallelujah!

Jesus .... Eat Your Heart Out!

derelict lyrics:reed llik

One of my goals
1. to live in an insignificant and pointless town
where people never pull the shades
and double breasted bankers are shot in cold blood
by horses on foot


One of my goals
1. to form a jam band of infinite eternal songs
and the die hard fans who breed in the open air
sacrifice their young to corporate headquarters
guaranteeing future record sales
in my old age


One of my goals
1. to sing battered lyrics
over the loudspeakers of factory outlet lingerie stores
in order to inappropriately interrupt at inopportune moments
the decisions of female warriors seeking asylum
from the persecution of natural lighting


One of my goals
1. to write a psychedelic book
detailing the shocking mendacity of my life thinly veiled in non-fiction
from which Oprah Winfrey will decode
the meaning of the universe
with the help of a scissors and a mouthful of apricot jam


One of my goals
1. to kiss the beautifulone on the corners of his lips
causing him to sink into the underground current of
mourning dove and killdeer birdsongs sung backwards
as we wait for a solar powered subway during a total eclipse



christine vyrnon © 2009

Tough-Love & Fair Warnings: Playing Devil's Advocate

Fair Warning: I’m about to use swear words.

DILLINGER FOUR!!! FUCK YEAH!!!

Seasonal laryngitis kept me from interviewing anyone at Minneapolis' nonpartisan “Liberty Parade” Rally yesterday. * In lieu of silence, I’d like to digitally scream, “Dillinger Four Fucking Rocks!”

D4= Putting the “F” Back in “Art”: a favorite of mine from their “Situationist Comedy” Album

“Forgive me
For a second I thought we were eye to eye
My mistake
I shouldn’t have faked it
And now it’s cheers to a waste of time
I don’t remember asking your permission
To have my own goddamn opinion
And if this is how it goes
At all of your shows
Please point me to the exit
What a circus of clowns we are
Politicians could learn some tricks here
It’s hard to see past all the stars
Please point me to the beer
This routine’s back on the rise
Drop a name and cut it down to size
Check out my new dance
I call it THE WALK AWAY”

Fair Warning: I’m about to quote Joni Mitchell.

“I look at love from both sides now.” The same with politics. I've been on both sides. I love and respect people on both sides. I have my preferences, but I’m not blind to the common ground both parties share.

And guess what is located on the common-ground real-estate of both parties?

They both share the same porta-potty.

Fair Warning: I feel obliged to ream Democrats a new one, all in the name of tough-love.

The Democrats, for whom I more-or-less bat, are well on their way of not taking the Republicans seriously. They are so gung-ho about how McCain has shot himself in the foot with the Palin VP pick, that they are in danger of being blinded by the rather large splinter in their own eye.

How so?

AGEISM: DON’T GO THERE!!!! Rise above. Democrats are doing themselves no favors by pointing and laughing at how old John McCain is. I know it is the wave of the future for the young to belittle the old, but with so many baby boomers headed toward healthy, productive later years, if the democrats make too big a deal out of McCain’s age, this might turn off a lot of his peers.

I’ve seen men drop dead at the age of 40. I’ve also seen women in their intellectual prime in their 70’s and 80’s.

From what I can tell, there is NO evidence that McCain does not have his wits, and health, about him. His age is a concern, but it should not be the primary focus. If anything, the age-ist rhetoric coming from the Democrats might alienate quite a few voters.

HYPOCRITICAL SEXISM: I know Palin is hard-core pro-life. The Republicans will love this. True, it is a bit hypocritical for her to be pro-life, yet pro-choice about family and career. Meanwhile, just as Hillary supporters watched sexism come out of the woodwork from followers of both parties, I suspect that we will continue to see sexism… from both parties. Democrats still have a thing or two to learn about their own double standards. The less sexist rhetoric coming from the democrats, the better.

And for every Democrat who claims they are not sexist, I’d like to suggest that EVERYONE is sexist… and racist… and hypocritical… to some degree. Me included. Once we stop examining our thoughts and actions, once we start taking the easy road of Goodie-Two-Shoes, and slap the Label Of Enlightenment on our foreheads, the sooner we’re going to fall flat on our faces.

Though the Republicans may have their work cut out for them on the feminist and racial front, this does NOT mean that the Democrats are home free.

INEXPERIENCE: For the next 2 months, the Democrats and Republicans will be playing a game of Hot Potato on this issue. Both sides have reason to squirm. It could be a toss-up.

DEMOCRATS are SMART/ REPUBLICANS are STUPID Argument: This, imo, is one of the most embarrassing arguments used by the Democrats. Guess what? The Republicans say, and believe, the same thing about Democrats. I know there are statistics out there that show that Democrats hold more and higher degrees than Republicans. I’m not aware of any statistics which compare their IQs. Though Republicans may openly cling to Creationism, this does not make them stupid.

FYI Aside to fellow atheists: calling ppl who are creationists STUPID does not help our cause either.
****************************

Who has more to loose in this election? Debatable. The Republicans are being forced to soften their image. Nothing wrong with that. If Democrats continue to suggest it is mere pandering to the middle (which both sides do, btw), they just MIGHT find out how apropos the following oldey, but a goodey, is: Pride Goes Before The Fall.

Fair Warning?
May the best team win.

And if all else fails, ask yourself: "WWD4D?"

*Apologies for all subjects of the pictures who I did not get names from. If this is a problem, please let me know. Also, the drumset accompanying the D4 lyrics... is NOT their drumset. My camera was on strike for their set.